You never think it is going to happen to you, but here I was, just started my senior year of high school and a little pink plus sign on the stick that would determine my future.
It was 2010, I had just started dating my boyfriend and just started my senior year of high school. I was so excited to be graduating and go to my dream college, but it didn’t end up that way. In October, I was sitting in my English class which my best friend was also in, I looked over at her with this look of shock. She kind of gave me this look of concern. I told her I just realized I was late. We decided to go to Walmart right after school and buy me a pregnancy test. We went to the check out line and as she paid for it I ran to the bathroom, took the test, put it in my pocket, and we walked out to the car. When we got to the car she asked what it said, I told her I had no clue because I haven’t looked. I slowly pulled the test out of my pocket to see it was positive. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had no idea if my boyfriend and I would stay together, we had only been together or a little over a month when I found out I was pregnant. I had no idea how I was going to finish school and also prepare for a little baby to be here that I would have to support. Abortion was not an option, I was young and I made a choice and I was going to deal with whatever came out of it head on. Adoption was not really an option either. The thought of carrying a baby for 9 months, going through labor, birthing this beautiful baby and then handing her over for someone else to raise and love, I didn’t have the strength to do that. Only other option, raise her. Raise her the best I could, support her in every way possible, love her and be her mother. That is the option I choose.
My friend dropped me off at home, I went inside to drop all my school stuff off and started my way to my boyfriends house to tell him what I just found out. I was so nervous. I did not know what he would say or think as we hadn’t been together very long. As I arrived to his house, I could feel my whole body shaking, my hands were so sweaty, and I could barely get the words out, but I looked at him straight in the eyes and just let it out.. “I’m pregnant”. He just looked at me for a second like the words hadn’t reached his ears yet. After a few seconds, he hugged me and told me it would be okay. That same day we told his parents. They were not very happy.
I had no idea how I was going to tell me parents, so I did what any kid would do, I called the laid back aunt who always helped when we were in trouble. When she answered, she could tell something was wrong. I began telling her that I just found out I was pregnant and didn’t know how to tell my mom and dad. She told me she would come over after school the next day to help me tell my parents, you know, so they couldn’t kill me. My parents worked third shift at the time, so they were usually still sleeping when I got home from school. I had called my mom that night, I waited until she was at work so I didn’t have to confront her face to face until the next day, and told her we needed to talk tomorrow after school so she needed to be up. She didn’t want to wait until the next day and kept asking why I needed to talk after school. She wanted to know right then and there. She came out and asked me if I was pregnant, I started bawling and said “I’m so sorry” and hung up on her.
The next few days were pretty awkward. No one at home really talked to me and I could just tell how disappointed everyone was. I felt like I let everyone down. Finally, we talked, the obviously were not happy but they said they would stand behind me in anything I had decided. I told them that I was keeping the baby and they supported me 100%.
I do not now if all schools are like this but my school offered what they called a GRADS program and it was to help moms in high school graduate and also taught us how to take care of babies.
The following Monday after I talked to my parents, My boyfriend and I, walked to the principals office and told them as well. I thought the look of disappointment was over after I told my parents, I was wrong. Obviously no one is going to be happy about having a kid in high school pregnant, but he knew what my plans were for after graduation and he also knew they would now never happen.
I didn’t realize how hard pregnancy was, I never had a baby before and I definitely wasn’t at a point in my life to find out. I slept ALL THE TIME. My grades started slipping so once again back to the principal’s office to talk about my options. He offered me an open spot at CBI, a program where I only go to school for two hours a day and then I could also work, and I took it. I finished the first half of the year at my normal high school and then in January, started at CBI. At first, I was really upset with myself, but CBI landed up being an amazing experience and the best option for me.
February of 2011, I go in for a prenatal check and I get asked, “do you want to know what you are having?”, YES! My doctor looks at me, smiles, and tells me it is a girl. I had no idea what I was going to name her, I had no clue how I was going to support her, I had no clue on anything except for the fact that I loved her and I was going to be a mom. Things seem to become a little more real at that point. As the months went on, I got bigger, I was almost done with high school, and everyone was finally accepting the fact that a baby was coming.
As everyone was talking about their graduation parties, I was preparing the last few things for my princess to be born. I was not sure if I was even going to be able to walk across the stage because my due date was 17 days after graduation. I didn’t get invited to a single graduation party that year. The sad part is, I had friends, or so I thought. I could not do what I use to do. I could not party anymore. I was not smoking weed constantly or drinking. I wasn’t staying out late, I could barely stay up until ten o’clock. That summer felt so lonely. I had my parents, my boyfriend, and my aunt.
Here comes graduation day. I was so nervous. I was nine months pregnant, it was extremely hot that day, we had to walk up a couple stairs to be on the stage and I couldn’t see my feet, and I definitely didn’t want my water to break on stage in front of everyone. I walked up the stairs, yes I tripped, grabbed my diploma, walked across and down stairs on the other side, went back to my chair and took a breath of relief. I did it. I graduated high school. Next on the list, baby girl.
I go to my last appointment. One week before my due date. My doctors checks me and I’m dilated two centimeters. He looks at me and tells me Friday June 21st we are inducing you and we are going to have a baby. At this point I feel sick to my stomach. I knew I wouldn’t be pregnant forever and I would eventually have to go through labor but I felt like it went so fast.
june 21st, induction date. I am scheduled to be induced at eight o’clock that night. All day I am preparing the last little details and getting prepared for what is about to happen. 7:30p.m. rolls around and we are leaving the house and headed to the hospital. I get checked in, head up to the room, get my gown on, the nurse comes in and gets my IV started with Pitocin, here comes my doctor to break my water. I did land up getting the epidural after four hours in labor. After the epidural, I was in labor for another two and a half more hours. 2:45a.m. it is time to push. I was so scared. I heard stories about how some women push for hours. I got lucky, I pushed for four minutes and that was it. My daughter was born at 2:49a.m weighing 5 pounds 13 ounces. I was officially a mom.
All the fears and nerves went away when I seen her face for the first time. It was as if I knew everything was going to be okay. I knew I could do this. I had an amazing support system and I knew one way or another I was going to make this work. I was going to be the best mom I could be.
She is now a very sassy seven year old. It’s only been seven years but for the most part, I’m doing the best I can. I say the most part for many reasons, which will come in another post. I have also had two more kids since I was seventeen. I may do posts on those. I am not for sure yet.
If you want me to post about my other two pregnancies, let me know! Also, want an update on my daughters dad and what happened with us?!?!
Hope you guys enjoyed ❤